2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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