My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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