So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
