Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
