Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
