I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
