I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
