I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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