You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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