Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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