so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
