He kissed a someone with a penis
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
