This show inspires me to have sex in space
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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