i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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