We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
