im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
