I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
