Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
