Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize