Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
