i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
