her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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