We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
