this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
