there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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