Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
