he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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