Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
