I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
