you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
