I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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