I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
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