A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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