I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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