Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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