At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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