She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
