He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
