i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
