So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
