Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
