Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I have tasted many bathrooms
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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