she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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