Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
