Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
