I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
