I want to walk on stilts...naked
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my shit smells like andre
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
