How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
