No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
