Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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