Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize