did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
