she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
