careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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