I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
