you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
