I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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