Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
