Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize