Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
