Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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