wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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