Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
