I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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