Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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