So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
