I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We need to get me chipped asap
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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