She is in my trunk
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
