just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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