are you so shy because you have an std?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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